Here's to Hoping

“So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions”- Alex, He’s Just Not that into You. 

         Short, sweet and to the point. With this fact known, why do we continue to lie to ourselves, search for deeper meaning in everything our man of the moment says, and does when we know in our heart of hearts the God-awful truth? Why do we continue to make excuses for their asshole actions? Is feeling bad about ourselves worth holding on to that little sliver of hope not moving on from him gives us?      

XoXo- Limardi<3

We're Just "Friends"...

My bff Google tells me a Fuck Buddy is: “A sex partner with whom one occasionally has sex with without special attachment”.

Is adding sex into a friendship just messy, or a way to “get you off” without the commitment of a legit boyfriend/ girlfriend? Is it true that you can have detached sex, or will one of the fuck buddies inevitable end up falling? Is there such a thing as “no strings attached”?

XoXo- Limardi<3

"We hold these truths to be self evident..."

I recently have stumbled upon 2 truths: 1)The reason my school has such a high job placement after graduation, and 2) There is more to life than sex (weird coming from me right?). You may not see how these two truths connect, but trust me they do.

                Alrighty, truth 1: The reason my school has such a high job placement rate after graduation is because you don’t need a degree to pursue a career in the fashion Industry. This is not just something I pulled out of (pardon my French) ass, but I am reminded of it every week in my nap class… I mean Fashion Survey. This is the class where I travel to East Juhunga, to listen to people talk about how they currently work in fashion, but went to school to be a lawyer… The class is held on a Tuesday at 8 am, so we leave the dorms at 7 to make it there in time (I have explained this before). Due to the fact I am groggy and annoyed these glorious mornings, I have little tolerance for stupidity, and as a result am a sarcastic bitch- well more so than usual. People here (and by people I mean girls) annoy the hell out of me; honestly it’s time to make like a baby and head out this bitch.

Truth 2): So fashion school, girls- a lot of girls. I am basically living every straight man’s dream; hundreds of horny, testosterone deprived ladies. Being surrounded by this much estrogen 24/7 has the power to turn even a nun into a nympho. When a straight man walks into a room, it’s a free-for-all. We are animals, sexual predators.

 I see myself as a mental nympho because my sexual fantasies and constant sexual thoughts are just that, thoughts. I don’t put them into action. Many of the conversations had by my roomie and me are how we need men- more frankly penis. The other night we were saying how enough is enough it’s time to get laid; we ranted how it seems sex just comes so easily (pun intended) for everyone but us. Its like: Boy meets girl. Boy, friend requests girl. Girl accepts. She creeps on his photos, he on hers, and BAM they have sex. I’d like to revise these statements because sex is emotional, it’s messy, and if it’s not with someone you can trust things can get ugly. I am not saying to wait for marriage, or to be in love. My advice would be to wait for the trust thing; someone that you like and who likes you back. Someone who you feel wouldn’t jeopardize your safety.

This mental nympho is going to keep fantasizing for now. I am content, doing my thing, enjoying male companionship. Sex will happen for me when it happens. There’s more to life than sex. You can quote me.

                XoXo- Limardi<3



New York State of Mind

As I make my way to the F subway station leaving Queens NY I take a look at my surrounds and think about the great night I had; all beginning with a jam session to I Just had Sex- Lonely Island.  I think about the person I have evolved into, and can’t imagine my life anywhere but in New York City.

            Moving here was the best thing I could have ever done, it has forced me to become independent, mature (on a good day), and most importantly chipped away the wall I put up between people and myself. My mother ordered my food in restaurants up until last year- Houston we have progress.

            Long gone are the days of shy awkward Amanda- well I’ll always be awkward/”out there” but that’s just part of my charm. Staying in Buffalo would have only meant staying in my pre-NY state. I don’t look down on my friends who chose to stay in Buffalo, in their parents homes; I just wish they got to expirence what I do every day.

                                              XoXo- Limardi <3 

What is Love?

If love is a feeling, why do we feel the need to label it? Does calling someone our husband or boyfriend change how we feel about them, or is it just for a sense of security?

XoXo-Limardi <3

I Fucking Love New York

…While Lauren is away, the roomies play- in a pigsty.  The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of men, dancing, beverages, and soaking up the beautiful spring-like day in NYC. As a result our room is in shambles, and my lazy ass is not going to clean up until after I gym. Yes gym is now a verb.

Anyways. God only knows why my roomie, her cousin and I got up at ten o’clock this morning, when we didn’t hit the sack until four last night. I’m not sure how we are even functioning. We got “chocolate wasted” (Grownups)… well maybe it was more like dark “chocolate wasted”, but had a fantabulous night, followed by a grand day.

To start off it was 60 degrees here in the big apple, so naturally I felt a stroll through Central Park was a necessity. We hit the city streets, made a pit stop at my crack… I mean coffee house, and then started to the park. I could have walked through that park all day today, but soon after we got to there, Cousin had to leave. Once we sent Cousin on her merry way, my roomie and I hopped on the train to our favorite spot- Soho. If you have never visited Soho I highly advise you to. Its so chill, very urban, and full of unique people. The streets are lined with jewelry stands, scarves, and bongs, and I am going to live there as soon as I am no longer a broke college student.

Today made me realize how much I fucking LOVE NY; So much to do, so much to see, and so many people to meet. “You’re never alone in New York, it’s the perfect place to be single…” (Carrie Bradshaw), I’m living it up, enjoying life, and in good great company.

XoXo-Limardi <3

The Love Game

Being in “like” is taxing. Everything you do, and every plan you make revolves around them. For instance “(insert name here) would so wanna bang me if he saw me in this skirt, I wish (insert name here) was coming with us, I’m going to go out, and drunk text (insert name here), Life would be so much better if (insert name here) was my man”. It’s sick, and life is just a lot easier without having to figure out this love/like business.

            Do I wait a long time to text him back, is it okay to text him first, should I ask him if he wants to hang; Am I being annoying, clingy? Do you tell them all you’re secrets or do you remain aloof, mysterious? There are so many things to consider.

            Have you ever noticed how simple it is to flirt with someone you have no interest in? You find it easy to be yourself because you really don’t give a flying fig what they think of you - if being yourself with the non-love interest gets him to fall for you wouldn’t it make sense to just be your self with the love interest? I guess its one of those “It’s easier said than done” things.

 Maybe all our second-guessing, and premeditation are what mess things up. I am so tired of playing The Love Game…. I think it’s time this girl take a time-out.

XoXo-Limardi<3

In New York

“People come to New York City to find love, all you’ll find is homeless people”- profound words from a slightly intoxicated roommate. NYC is the metropolis for love, or at least that’s how the movies depict it. Are these  pre-conceived ideas of a fairy tale ending obtainable? In a city that never sleeps, where dreams come true- can love fit into the equation?  The men and women of New York city are stretched thin; there aren’t enough hours in the day to do laundry, so how in the heck is there time for love? All you can do is you, do your thing, and when you least expect love will find you.

XoXo-Limardi<3

I'm Bringin' Sexy Back

Want to feel sexy in a matter of seconds? Well slip into a nice pair of heels, and BAM instantaneous sex appeal, and confidence! I used to rock heels every single day back in 10^th  and 11^th grade. Not little kitten heels either; I am talking full blown stilettos. Granted it took me awhile to get to class but damn I felt great. Somewhere between 11^th and 12^th grade my confidence dropped even lower, and I stopped wearing heels because I hated being taller than ever guy in my grade.

The rest of the school adopted my wearing heels to school trend the following year and I stuck to flats and boots to ensure I would tower over the male population no longer- what a mistake. I lost what made me, me, and that’s never okay. Stop worrying about fitting in, and just do what makes you happy; “Be who you are, not who people want you to be, or who you think people want you to be”-Harlan Cohen, The Naked Roommate.

 I am happy to say the heel wearing Amanda is back and and feeling better than ever. I hate wearing flats… I just have to buy more “city friendly” high-heeled footwear. A nice platform wedge, or thick heel will do the job. Besides feeling sexy you’ll look sexy; heels make your butt appear larger, your legs go on for days, and makes you gently sway your hips from side to side while walking. The world is you runway, so strut your stuff!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCF3ywukQYA

         XoXo-Limardi<3

T.G.I.F

            In the words of Cudi, Thank God I’m Fresh (T.G.I.F). Man oh man. I am having another spectacular day, and it’s only a little after 9 o’clock.  Left my dorm feeling good, with a little spring in my step. When I made my routine visit to Starbucks this morning, there was a line since it was coffee rush hour, but when it was my turn, my homies had my drink already prepared. They handed it to me as I handed them my card!

Ayyy, what it do my dude

I'm livin life dawg what about you

And i ain't even gatta tell a lie

My swag, my steez gatta nigga sky high

So I'm, watchin my moves

From the shoes on the cool

Be damned if a nigga aint high to the roof

Pimp tight get it right homey more or less

Gatta thank god I'm fresh- Cudi

I am so ready to go out tonight. We are going to a little club called Veranda! I am ready to share this great mood I’m in with the world. Our friend knows this promoter, and with him at our side we can expect the V.I.P treatment. The man is Amazing, and great at what he does- not to mention he is a sweetheart. 6 o’clock can’t come soon enough. I have to gym, then get all dolled up for the evening.  Let's hope the night lives up to my expectations, but even if it doesn’t I don’t think anyone or thing can put a damper on my mood!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQGqyWC-xNo&feature=related

XoXo-Limardi<3

The Sacred Spot

You're in the gym with your roomie and you're okay with the fact your makeup in almost all off, your hairs in an unsightly tangled bun, and you're wearing the same smelly workout clothes you've had on for the past week.

All of a sudden that petite perky bitch walks in and all that goes out the window.... I definitely sounded like a bitch; the girl is probably really nice and I'm honestly just jealous of her confidence and the way she struts around the gym wiggling her butt, but girl please don't come into my gym wearing red lipstick- ever. While we’re on the subject it really grinds my gears when girls come into the gym all dressed up scope it out then walk out.

The gym is a sacred place where it's okay to look grungy, throw inhibitions aside toss your hair up and sweat off the days stresses. These girls are killing my mood! It's okay to not look perfect especially in the gym.

                                               XoXO-Limardi<3

WTF

Is there a full moon out or something? Someone please inform me. People are throwing the love word around, I’m getting random texts, and then there are threats of an earthquake… What the hell is going on?!

            First of all this earthquake thing- Um I can’t die, not now, not in my current sexual state. I’m so young, there are things I need to see, people I need to do. Gawd I gotta get my shit together.

            I did a lot of catching up with old buddies today. One buddy’s situation is he liked a girl, things were running smoothly the BAM out of nowhere she doesn’t want a relationship. Of course we had a good bash session to make him feel better, but then he mentioned she was shy, and my wheels started turning. Take it from someone who used to be terribly shy- If you aren’t comfortable with yourself you couldn’t even fathom the idea of a relationship. You have got to love yourself before anyone else will. If I am correct he is not at fault, he did everything he could she just has to work on herself.

            If my shyness theory is wrong perhaps she is one of those people that get scared when things get too serious. A classic commitment-phobe. Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw of course had some words of wisdom pertaining to  the old commitment-phobe; “Once we’ve found what we’ve been searching for why are some of us reluctant to let go of our single selves. Is single life such a constant flurry of fun, and friends that settling down immediately fills us up with the urge to shake things up again…”?

XoXo-Limardi <3

Shortie What Cho Name Is?

I just saw a fine fella on my trip home from class. Fine as in F.I.O.N.E, like shortie what cho name is…can I holler at chu?  He was rocking some Nike sweats, hood up, straight pimpin’. I did my best to give him the much covenanted “fuck me eye”. Our eyes met a few times; each encounter pure, untainted bliss. When Mr. Studely took a seat across from me I did what I do best. Creep. I nonchalantly snapped a few pics, and lusted over him until the train stopped at 86th. As I wiped the newly formed drool from my mouth, I watched my shortie leave the train. Damn why didn’t I get a number..Smh.     

      XoXO-Limardi<3

Pursuit of Happiness

            Despite waking up a half and hour before I needed to leave for class, I managed to be only 2 minutes late. On my way I got a “good morning” from a passerby, there was no line at Starbucks, and the train arrived promptly. Today is one of those unexplainably wonderful days. I’m happy, single…..  strange.

“When you can’t have something you become obsessed with it”- Madonna.  Ain’t that the truth; those with straight hair want curls. Curly- straight. Women who can’t get pregnant suddenly want nothing more than to bare a child. The same goes for a little thing called L.O.V.E.

Our constant need to feel needed often gets in the way of our happiness. We let the fact that we are alone bring us down instead of celebrating our single status. We think that because we are single we must be undesirable, or that we are damaged. I ask you; Why is being single synonymous with being unhappy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KmWZXNDx5s
                                            XoXo- Limardi<3 

Body and Pole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69oqdMHSH0Q&feature=player_embedded

The gym can be so mundane, so why not take a pole dancing class... this is NYC after all. It's hard to go to the gym everyday so to spice up our workouts my roomie and I decided to take a kick boxing class so we'd only have to go to our gym 4-5 days a week. When we discovered the studios in the area were limited, we decided to go the pole dancing route- time to get our sexy on...?

Playa playa

Revolution is a foot my friends. Pessimism is long gone, and there is nothing but blue skies ahead. Everyone has a right to be down in the dumps, but you’ve got to move past that, and celebrate your life (yes more cheesy words of wisdom from yours truly). In the gripe of my insomnia I did a little FB chatting after an angry gyming session. A friend from home told me ‘be a cool girl and stop trying so hard to please the guys. Just have fun for urself a guy will come along eventually. hopefully”. The man has a point. I’m 18. I am a baby in the adult world. Men my age or a little older don’t want to settle down, they are just trying to get their “groove on”, play the field. This is exactly what my buddie Naudie told me during our lunch break. At this age love doesn’t have to be so serious. It’s the time to date around, hook up, and wean out all the assholes. Also the more you put yourself out there the more friends you make… In the words of Naudie “friends have friends”.

            It’s time for this girl to hit the city…well not right now. I have an 8 am class, but come Thursday she’s busting loose. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsBmg0Pgxxg. 
                                                             XoXo-Limardi<3 

Fashion Induced Coma

In the words of Niki Manaj “If I had a dick I would whip it out and piss on him”- Him being Tuesday mornings. Each Tuesday morning my roomie and I leave our dorms at the wee hour of 7 am to begin our journey to East Jahunga where our Fashion Survey class is. We go from East 96^th to west 23^rd- quite the trek. I have not slept a wince, and worked out for over 5 hours yesterday (yeah I have problems). When preparing myself for the day it didn’t occur to me that weather now a days is bi-polar, and just because it was 52 and gorgeous out yesterday doesn’t mean it will be anything like that on this fine morning.

                We leave the warm comfort of the dorms, and once our skin hits that icy air I want to scream FML. It’s Like 32 and of course I am dressed like a prostitute. See through ripped tights (very Ke$ha-esk) little black shorts, Cowboy boots, and a ¾ sleeved jacket. We get on the train, and the near 30 minute commute gets under way. Once at the SVA building, seated in our prime corner back row seats, we begin the normal daily “we’re single” conversation, resulting in hysterical laughter. The clock strikes 8 am, and I begin to slip into my Fashion survey coma. The speaker’s voice becomes more distant, I shift to get cozy in my seat, and the words I try to write on my paper trail off the pre-printed lines.

                I open my peepers to find a mass of people hurrying to exit, and totally dazed and confused, my roomie and I wipe the crusts out of our eyes and mouths, and follow the crowd. We honestly are like 5 for 5 in regards to snoozing in Fashion Survey. It’s ridiculous. We travel 30minutes to the west side to take a 50 minute nap, only to travel another 30 minutes to our next class… smh LIM.

                Although Tuesdays are hell, today the tall men of NYC came out of hiding. It was like God prepared a banquet of men for my choosing…but that is the highlight of my day so far. Stay tuned.

                                                                                     XoXo-Limardi <3

Pursuit of Happiness

             There’s nothing like a 5 and a half hour gym session, blasting kid Cudi to clear your mind. After the brief break from reality I find myself wide-awake at 3:39 am on this, February 15^th. I have an 8 o’clock class at The School of Visual Arts which on West 23. I live on East 96^th. 
              I can’t stop thinking. I always do this. My inability to turn off my “noodle” is a pain in my butt. I’m a college kid. I need my rest! UGHHHHH. Tomorrow is going to be a rough day- I cant even buy coffee. I’m flat broke. Tonight during my and my roomie's near midnight lipstick run my card was declined at CVS; granted I was buying unnecessary eyeliner but thank god for the money from Grandma’s cute V-day card. It was just what I needed for the “eye-liner emergency”. Wish me luck . Class from 8-6 :/. At least I'll look hot in my tired bags, and new eyeliner...
                                                                    XoXo- Limardi <3

Love

I’m not really sure why they call it  heartbreak, because it feels more like every bone in you body got smashed with a metal bat. Your body runs cold, you stop breathing, and you lil’ fragile heart drops to the pit of your stomach. You don’t know what to do with yourself; laugh at how ludicrous the situation is, or burst into tears where you stand. Once the pain subsides if it does at all you have got to step back and reflect. You can’t change the reality of the situation; you just have to appreciate it for what it was. The lessons learned, and good times spent. Wishing things would go back to the good old times will only make the rain cloud hovering above your head bigger.  

A wise man once told me he who cares less holds the power in a relationship. Boy was he right. When you put your whole heart out there it’s bound to get broken but it’s better to have loved than to never loved at all I suppose. Wallowing in self pity- and frozen yogurt will only make you sadder, and mean spending four and a half hours in the gym on V-Day.

                                        XoXo-Limardi

Feburary 14, 2011

February 14, 2011

                By the date alone, I assume you know what today is. Yes ladies and Gentlemen its D-day err um I mean V-day. Someone pass the vodka so I can drown my sorrows in alcohol. For those of us who are not happily, sickeningly in love this day can be called Singles Awareness Day and really I realize I am alone. I don’t need a whole day to let my truth marinate.

On a happier note I finally got my tattoo over the weekend; It reads “Never forget to love yourself” on my left wrist. I feel as if I should make it “Never forget to love yourself- because no one else will”; a succinct summary of my life thus far. This is routine for me. Every Valentine’s Day (all of which I have spent alone) I go through the day dragging my feet, wallowing in self pity- Yet somewhere in the back of my diluted mind I hold on hope that a magical text will pop up on my screen. It would be sent from my man of the moment, with him confessing his undying love for me. From there on we would live our lives blissfully in love… yeah I know pretty unlikely, unless my life was a Disney Movie.... It's not.

What is making this day even more unbearable are three things:

1)      It’s beautiful outside. A mild, sunny 52 degrees, a perfect temperature for a romantic stroll in central park

2)      I am surrounded by girls…remember Fashion School

3)      The only man wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day is Jim… my Dad.

                Maybe because love is blind, it’s having a hard time finding me. Honestly it is the only explanation for my loveless state… unless there’s something I’m missing. My good friend Mitch once told me “you don’t find love you fall into it”…cheesy, corny, and the truth. It seems that once you stop seeking love out it comes to you. I just can’t help but seeking it out because I want it so badly; so I guess I’ll just be trapped in this loveless cycle forever….. Eternally single.

                                                                                                       XoXo-Limardi <3