Is it hypocritical to wear "Boyfriend jeans" when you don’t actually have a boyfriend, or is it just wishful thinking?
It’s summertime and love is in the air (polluting it for us single saps). Everywhere I turn I see people paired off and I tell myself: “Self, don’t worry someday your Prince will come. He just took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions" - typical.
It seems as though all my fellow female Manhattanites have discovered the secret to finding love and have failed to share it with me. All I have to say is “Secrets, secrets, are no fun, unless you tell everyone.” (Everyone being me). Every romantic chick-flick says that you’ll meet your “Prince” walking your dog, on the subway or by accidently spilling your morning “Cup O’ Joe” into his lap (OUCH)…. FALSE. It’s a bunch of bullcrap!
Today after my class I decided to take a trip to Barnes and Noble because I honestly had nothing better to do. I headed to my usual section “Self Help” and surveyed my options…. The Art of Seduction, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Act Like A Lady; Think Like A Man, Make Every Man Want You, The Vixen Manual, What Men Want, Stop Getting Dumped…. and the list goes on. One that immediately caught my eye was Why Men Love Bitches. The book tells you how being a bitch makes you more desirable to the male species. WHY IS THIS LOVE THING SO DAMN HARD? I MEAN IT'S LOVE, NOT A MILITARY PLAN! Why are we so strategic about it? The bookshelves are lined with instructions on how to find the “Perfect man” but I thought love is supposed to find us when we least expect it… If I am making myself up, wearing all the right colors, and scents, acting all nonchalant, and bitchy to get a man to “want me” WHAT THE HELL DO I DO AFTER I’VE GOT HIM HOOKED? The real me isn’t always going to be so perfect. Can we stop playing coy and just be real? Can I go up to someone and say “Hey! I think you’re smokin’, let’s do this thing”?
I’ve tried the Damsel in Distress thing, I’ve tried to pretend to be perfect, I’ve worn red, the right makeup, scents, I was illusive, mysterious and my Prince didn’t come (still asking for directions?)…
If you see him send him to Central Park West
XoXo- The Explicit Virgin (my new alias)
No comments:
Post a Comment